![]() ![]() But it does mean I won’t wait until they happen to feel like I am living my life. ![]() That doesn’t mean I won’t have goals and dreams. I have no idea what my life will look like one year from now and instead of trying to control the outcome, I would rather shift my focus onto the now. One of the side effects of being left by my fiancé was a realization that while we can plan for our future, we can’t depend on it. I just need to do a better job of remembering that.Ĥ) I want to focus on today instead of tomorrow, next month or three years from now. But it is still an awesome project and younger Allison would be thrilled to be writing her fourth book. I also want to make sure that I enjoy the process of writing my next book. The JBU podcast might not get the same audience as our old YouTube videos, but that isn’t a reason for me to not take it seriously. But thinking this way robs me of enjoying all the very cool things I do have. I often feel that my career has taken a nosedive from when I had a ton more followers, multiple TV shows in development and a best-selling novel. I also find myself not just comparing myself to other people, but dangerously comparing myself to my past self. In the same breath I will remind myself of my successes and point out all the things I have been unable to accomplish. I constantly wrestle with the status of my career. But now that I do, I will!ģ) I want to find more joy and pride in my work. I didn’t have the time or physical ability to make this a priority until now. I moved and had knee surgery in the same week. But I am going to actively side-step the part where I judge myself for even having to have this goal in the first place. But she is also getting older and for both my own inner peace and her health I need to feel like I am more on top of things than I currently am. Couple that with the fact that we moved to a new part of the city and have yet to find a suitable vet, I constantly feel like I am failing her. I used to know immediately when anything was physically wrong with her because I was staring at her all day. That said, having two dogs, one of whom is very clingy, makes it hard to pay as close attention to Sugar. Phantom brings us all so much joy that I can barely remember a time without him. Adopting a second dog last fall was a huge decision, but it was also the right decision. (And if you want to leave an Amazon review as a birthday gift, I will be forever grateful!)Ģ) I want to get better at managing having two dogs and making sure I am meeting both of their emotional and medical needs. ![]() For all these reasons, it is worth fighting through the discomfort I feel when I continue to promote it and ask people to help support it. Plus, this book is meant to help people, so to give up on it would be giving up on the possibility of helping other people, and I don’t want to do that. Just because it wasn’t an overnight success doesn’t mean it won’t have a slow build. I also need to work to change my mindset around it and remember books can have long lives. I owe it to myself to keep promoting it and keep fighting for it to get in front of as many eyeballs as possible. And I know that it’s resonated with the people who have read it (aside from a few two-star reviews that are seared into my brain). But this project deserves more from me than that. This is a mentality that has served me well in this industry. My instinct is to declare it a failure and move on to the next project. It didn’t hit any lists and I haven’t been getting the type of press coverage I had been hoping for. Overthinking About You came out a little over a month ago and didn’t make much of a splash. And now, with those (many) caveats, let the self-reflection begin!ġ) I don’t want to give up on my book. Or at least control to the extent that my circumstances and mental energy allow. So, in order for this exercise to be useful and not incredibly frustrating, I am going to focus only on the things I can control. A lot of what I want for myself, especially when it comes to my career, I am simply not able to give. The tricky part in asking yourself, “What do I want this next year to look like?” is that so much of it is out of your control. But as much as I want to take the time to appreciate what I do have, I also think that the start of a new birth year is a good opportunity to check in with yourself and see where you want to focus your energy moving forward. ![]()
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